We had what we wanted from each other. You can’t pretend you are sick with me and of me. You wanted me, I am here by no accident. You had prepared the right soil, the right temperature and the food I relished the most. You even gave me a family.
Your huge eyes searched for me, the most beautiful and pink worm, in the humid and warm black soil, I was the longest one. You always chose me, you exhibited me to your siblings and friends, you spoke to me about your fears and bad grades, and about that dumb little boyfriend of yours. How could you have forgotten the name you have bestowed on me?
I was your Reddie, your friend. You noticed how I danced on the soil when you threw banana peels. You had huge brown eyes, watching me transforming the peels into poop, you even started drinking coffee to give me the grounds. You were so delicate spraying water to keep my soil moist, I was the first! My five hearts would beat fast seeing you arrive from school, tossing your backpack, and putting on your dirty retainers your mom begged you to wash.
You were not dirty, you were like me, and I was like you. I remember when you came home with a red box, you told me the inscription said red wigglers, you gave me friends, but nobody was friendly, each one of them just brainless, the eating peel kind, they were never a family, and my terrarium became such a strange land for me, you were my only solace. Even when you cried over Stacy pulling your hair, I was there for you.
I heard you crying over nobody understanding you, I was the only listening to you, your Reddie. You stopped caring, have you noticed when? I did, you were upset again about a boyfriend, someone with a funny name and a stupid haircut. I told you, even with my limited brain, you were much better than him, and you knew you were, you were my human. From my rectangular cuboid made of glass, I could not do much besides waiting for you to pick me up.
I loved you, even as a worm. One day, however, everything changed, a small beetle, I knew it was small and beetle iridescent because it said so. It invaded our terrarium, trying to lay eggs in my house, it was a bit audacious. It spoke to me. It said things I did not believe, the beetle asked me if I wished to see you. I said yes. The beetle asked me if I wanted to hear you. I said yes again. She only wanted me in exchange to protect her children until they could fly away and the magic would happen.
My side of the pact was fulfilled, her eggs hatched, and grew into big and fat larvae, eating all my food! I confess I sacrificed some of ours, that went up to looking for more food. It didn’t take long for the fat larvae to transform into pupae and they left my house. I confess, my nest was empty, I missed them, but food was plenty once again.
One day, eating a feast of banana and cantaloupe peel, I felt a sting in my stomach, the pain and discomfort dispersed through my long body. I felt like imploding. I went up to feel air, and my body was shaking, I jumped out of the terrarium to the floor, as the best able bodied worms tried to feed on me! I was on the floor and moved under the table supporting the terrarium, I found your hard socks, I wished to move, but it was too late. I had died. At least I had died as a worm to be reborn as one of your kind.
Nature was not great to humans, I must say. I feel cold the whole time, I have more limbs than necessary, and eyes are the worst invention of biology. Too many details, my brain was overstimulated. The worst of it all was a spine, human bodies are rigid. Now I could understand how such a huge amount of flesh could stand tall. I had a worm between my legs, covered in hair. Humans, in general, had wasteful bodies.
I shoved my hand inside the terrarium, instinctively, my stomach, much bigger, grumbled and hurt, but the banana peel tasted ghastly. I cried. I tried the cantaloupe and I heaved. Naked, I followed the smell of food, rolled downstairs and my head hit on every step and I crawled until the kitchen. I saw you eating many times, knew how your food looked like. I grabbed a banana, I ate it. But the peel did not taste great, so I removed the peel from the next banana and ate only the soft core.
The bananas and the other fruits were delicious. I farted, it was fun, it was loud and smelly. Crawling back to your room, I put the banana peels for the others, looking back, I was so small and thin. I was their God, like you were my God. I had ascended to your level.
My head ached, hearing such hard screeching noises. You found me, naked, bleeding through my head lifting my hand and feeding the others a banana peel. I couldn’t even explain it, you beat me up. Do you remember it? Your heavy and cumbersome backpack on my face, then kicks and then your hands smacking my face while I tried to defend myself and voice who I was. In vain.
How could you not recognize me? I was your Reddie, just human version, but still Reddie. From inside your terrarium, the first one, the biggest, the fattest and the friendliest worm. Humans dressed in gray and blue took me away. I did this for us. I did it because I loved you. You loved me too, remember? You said you did.
I am in a terrarium for humans now. I am learning how to speak, they even taught me the alphabet, this is my first time writing something this long. I read books, you know, other humans write words they invented, my favorite are the ones with numbers. If Mary bought five apples and ate three, how many apples does Mary have? She still has five, three in and two out. But my train of thought was not correct, you are supposed only to count the ones out. The ones inside become poop, and nobody counts poop.
I have three meals a day, but I steal food, sometimes it is not food, not every leaf or animal is edible. They asked me about my past, my parents and documents. The problem was that I did not understand what past, parents and documents were. I was genuinely confused, paper was made from trees, humans need tree slices to exist. My parents were worms, since I was a worm, they asked about mom and dad, but both are mom and dad. My past was by your side. I told them about you, about Stacy and your boyfriend with a stupid haircut, how you could rock me and call me Reddie.
They told me I was a stalker and mentally insane. I thanked them and searched for both words in the dictionary, then I refuted their allegation. I have a human responsible for me, they call her doctor, with the dictionary in hands, I showed her the word kidnapper, you were a kidnapper, subtracting me from nature and placing me inside an enclosed space. Not happy with only me, you also kidnapped hundreds of my own kind.
The doctor told me unfortunately she could not consider my own conclusions. Worms are bought and not kidnapped. She could not understand why I cried, I was not even prey, I was just a product and that hurt me even more. I was a toy for you, I had feelings for you, I changed for you but I was only a small distraction, hidden in your room, at your mercy. I asked for a book about worms, and I learned about how humans impale us to grab fish and that would be less humiliating than being a decoration in your room.
I ask the doctor to write you this letter, she said you were a minor and could not receive any communication from me, but I am a minor too! I have no beard or chest hair, but the scent of my armpits is nasty. If I understood well, I will remain in the human terrarium forever. I learned how to like it here, I became an expert into differentiating male and female humans, I eat with a spoon and I can wipe my own bottom! My poop travels inside pipes, does yours too?
I read books, I draw and write, writing is still easier than speaking, but soon the words will flourish from my throat to my mouth. I like Thursdays, it is rotisserie chicken day, and I enjoy eating the skin. I am thankful for all the years inside the terrarium. For the peels, and the soil, and humidity. Thank you for speaking to me and confiding in me, perhaps because I had no vocal cords, now I do.
I have only one final question.
Would you still love me if I was a worm?
Reddie.
