If it wasn’t for that stupid female player, he would have won. He shouted and tossed his cute colorful keyboard with a rubber duck and opened his mini bar, the latest addition in his set up. This way he did not have to open the door and watch the sadness of his mother knowing he spent his free time shouting to graphics and random people online instead of leaving her house.
Pink lemonade soda in a bottle, he twisted the lid after stretching his leg to pull the keyboard back to his chair, he was oblivious to the smell of his own body. It was still Saturday, he would shower Monday before work. The soda fizzed under his nose, he wanted to wash out the taste of the cheese puffs that were stuck in between his teeth. The liquid passed quickly and he engulfed the whole content of the bottle in few seconds.
He felt the dilatated stomach and got up, removed his headset and stood on both his feet for the first time since he arrived from work, he walked to the door and pressed his left ear on the door, his parents seemed to be sleeping. He opened the door carefully and walked to the bathroom, he closed the door behind himself and avoided the mirror. In front of the toilet, he took a piss and noticed how his dick could use a quick sink shower.
He positioned himself in front of the sink, opened the faucet and adjusted the water to achieve the perfect penis washing temperature and gave a preemptive burp, the empty and noiseless ones, he opened his mouth and almost no gas passed up. The water was more than lukewarm and less than hot, he placed his flaccid tiny penis in the sink, after leaning on the countertop, he was tall, but he was standing on his toes to get the best angle to receive the water on the head.
A small grumbling and then a big one, he opened his mouth and nature took its course, he let the loudest burp, a powerful thunder from his stomach, out, eyes closed, face squinting for maximum power. Ew. He looked down and shook his dick and dried it with the pastel blue towel his mother used for her face, it was fluffier and his dick also had a head, same same.
He looked at himself in the mirror, inevitably and besides the yellow teeth, still with cheese puff stains he noticed a small fissure, he touched it, it was light and smelled of nature. He touched the fissure with two fingers, sliding it through it and then took courage and bent the fingers and tried penetrating it and the small fissure became big, he placed his head inside, the one with eyes.
“What the fuck?” He muttered, scared. He tried to back out, but he was sucked inside and the fissure closed behind him. He fell onto the floor, and different from where he came from, it was day, he noticed ape-like animals, leaner than gorillas, eating grass in groups. He still had his penis out of his trousers, he placed inside slowly, he walked backwards where his bathroom was and tried to grab the fissure that had disappeared.
Once the possibility of coming back home to scream at females was ruled out, his first impulse was to scream and cry, he found a not so dirty space with grass and cried his heart out, looking at the disgusting natural place filled with green, apes and no signal of civilization. While he was feeling sorry for himself, the apes got up and walked like people, their huge jaws mincing grass unbothered gave way to scream and jump, he could notice movement in the tall grass. As an avid gamer, he understood they were ambushed, he saw a tail peeking out of the grass, the monkeys that could walk like people were tall like children, running together.
Luckily, he was in decent shape and ran together with the monkeys that were too scared to mind about him. When he saw the huge feline with fangs peeking out of its mouth, he was not equipped to fight that, he could not recognize the large feline. He heard screams, thankfully he realized he did not have to outrun the feline, he just had to outrun the monkeys, and that was easy.
It seemed hours, but in less than ten human minutes the feline had found the snack it had come for, and the apes had seemed to calm down. His stomach began grumbling, the pink lemonade soda melted the cheese puffs and he also needed food. He grabbed his phone and it had no signal, he had in mind a shawarma with beef and extra sauce, fat and juicy. He sat again and looked up, the sun was on the afternoon side, he thought felines were crepuscular, but maybe the kitty was extra hungry, and he knew nothing about nature.
His eyes traveled around and the logical thing to do was to find water, he walked without clear direction until he saw a stream and humans, seemingly human, he was astonished and forgot to hide. Three people from the group came to evaluate him, they vocalized between each other and at him. A male pulled him, he tried to untie himself, but the humanoid was stronger.
They had rags covering their dark skin, they pulled him for a circa twenty people group and they all pinched the human man, even the women and children adventured touching him. Vocalizing and pointing at the strange person. They sat to eat, he looked at the carcass, without the guts, near to the fire, on top of a stone.
The group ate and even gave him a piece of hard and rubbery meat without any spice, he wondered if they had invented washing hands, probably not, he did not eat, every quasi-person remained quiet, and they all had eaten a huge knack of meat. The kids stole his portion after he put it back on the rock where the rest of the meat was resting.
He held his phone in his hands, and decided not to make sudden movements, in his head the only thought was the one to go home and take a shower, the primitives were animalesque and rudimentary, he looked at female and a male, they walked few steps away, but he could hear the noise of them copulating. Even they got more action than him. Suddenly all the adults found their pair, and he was alone with the children.
Even in this world he was a child, not even the ugly females wanted to spent time with him, he realized they covered their noses to approach him, he stank for them, the only clean part of his body was his dick. He went to the stream and decided to wash his clothes, it was not cold anyways, he washed his t-shirt, and underwear, he squeezed them and washed the pants, since nobody was scared to show his dick, he wouldn’t be as well. He washed his butt crack, dick and armpits.
A female seeing him naked approached him from behind and all the females flocked to observe. He felt her curious rough hands touching him, he tried to retreat, but the other females were also curious to touch the strange man. He looked at the females with tangled hair, tiny saggy boobs and with an entire life of body hair and felt disgusted, they were not human like him, they were lesser, they were… oh very good, a hand is a hand. He closed his eyes and let them satisfy their curiosity.
Laughs and vocalization he could not understand, he wasn’t a virgin anymore. They walked back to a shelter with fire, he noticed how they would socialize, fuck, talk, play, he participated, his phone was nineteen percent, he needed to burp another fissure, he wanted to fuck a real woman and take a shower.
His stomach was empty, but in the next days he ate everything he was offered, the result was puking, diarrhea and vomiting, he could not keep anything, he began losing weight, his phone was dead and not even the poking and touching of the females was enough to take him from the stupor, while some went hunting, foraging, gathering and even fishing, he remained inside the shelter rotting away.
The newest mother from the group would come check on him time to time, she remained closer to the shelter and fire, he watched her nursing the baby and cried, they were an ugly and silly shaped human, but they were human, better than his useless self. He touched the mother’s head and the baby, they were perfect. Everyone had a place in their small society, but his place in his society was pushing buttons and filling a spreadsheet and then hating women online.
Outside, the sun was shining, he decided he would help the mother, he brought her water, fruits and even cut the meat into smaller pieces for her, he even gifted his T-shirt to the baby. In the meantime, he continued to eat and drink in hopes of going home. He was feeding the mother while she nursed the baby that barfed. He laughed and then cried with joy. He was lactose intolerant! He was intolerant, if he could not burp, he would fart his way out of that nightmare.
Before he could try his hypothesis, he wished for another curiosity session with some females of the bunch, after they satisfied their curiosity, he walked to the mother, kneeled, offered, his sweatpants in exchange for breast. She touched the garment, it was comfy, albeit stinky, but accepted. He was kneeling with the cellphone in one hand and the breast in another, only in his underwear.
The effect was immediate, he felt his stomach grumbling, he sat in front of her after sucking her breast dry and began moaning in pain and smiling, poking his belly filled with despair and air, his gut did not disappoint, first few burps were empty, he took a deep breath and held it, when he released, the burp shook the shelter, the mother, the baby and he remained stunned.
His fingers searched for the fissure, he touched the air, while he farted, he imagined shitting in his toilet later the night, when he was losing hope, he released another burp and the fissure appeared, thin like a strand of hair, he touched it and fingered it open, he could see his bathroom already, he had no time to say goodbye or to hyperventilate, he inserted his head and then arms, passed his shoulders, while the mother held her baby in fear. The excitement made him soil himself, he did not care.
The fissure sucked him back to his bathroom, as it closed, he let himself fall on the floor, holding his phone, dirty, soiled and sobbed loudly and uncontrollably. His mother kicked the door open and saw her baby… still a baby.
